Rebecca Zook - Math Tutoring Online

5. Math-masterful parents commit to steady math mentoring support for the long haul.

Typical parents try to “get tutoring over with” or “wean off” the tutoring out of fears of dependency.

But math-masterful parents understand that high-level mentoring support is actually a path to deeper and deeper independence, and allows their child to be nurtured in continually more sophisticated ways as they gleefully move up the upwards spiral of true growth.

So they keep math mentoring support in place, month after month, year after year.

They say yes to support again and again, making sure their child continues to be mentored even after their child starts to consistently get straight As—just like an athlete continues to train after they make a national team, or just like a ballerina continues to do barre after she is chosen for a renowned company.

Because the parent and child have this support in place, neither of them is worried about what will happen when the going gets tough (and they know that it will).

They know that support is already there, ready, waiting, on the calendar, and they never have to go back to those dark days of math desperation again.

As a quick example of this, there’s a family that has been working with me now for over 4 years.

Because of the consistent mentoring support they have in place, this student just had the most relaxed experience of finals ever and was able to stay calm when she was surrounded by peers who were panicking.

This meant that her parents, instead of feeling miserable during finals because their daughter was so stressed and overwhelmed, actually felt relaxed themselves during finals.

Do you wish your child could go through this same transformation?

I would love to talk to you.

Just fill out this application here.

As soon as your application is received and reviewed, I’ll reach out to schedule a special appointment for us to connect on the phone and get clear on how I could best support your family.

I can’t wait to connect!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

Related posts:
What Parents Of Math-Confident Children Secretly Do (That Typical Parents Don’t) – #1
What Parents Of Math-Confident Children Secretly Do (That Typical Parents Don’t) – #2
What Parents Of Math-Confident Children Secretly Do (That Typical Parents Don’t) – #3What Parents Of Math-Confident Children Secretly Do (That Typical Parents Don’t) – #4

Parents routinely come to me with this situation. Your passionate, creative, unique, visionary kid has been struggling with math for months (or even years), even though they’re already giving it everything they’ve got.

You’re spending hours on Khan Academy every night trying to untangle your kid’s homework, teaching yourself so you can teach them. Instead of having dinner as a family, you’re working on math.

Your kid is so frustrated and stressed about math that they routinely break down and cry. Or maybe they’re just so anxious that you’re starting to pick up their anxiety yourself, and you’re struggling to filter everything you say, just to make sure you don’t snap at them.

You feel drained, burdened, even resentful. You come home from work, and instead of being excited to see your kid and have this precious time with them, you are filled with dread about the math you’ll need to help them with tonight. Again. Night after night. No end in sight.

And the days when they have tests are the worst. When you pick them up after school, you feel this knot in your stomach worrying about how they did.

You’re already worrying about the doors that will be shut to them if they don’t feel comfortable with math. You don’t care whether or not they pursue math as a career – you just really, really don’t want their math phobia to get in the way of their dreams coming true.

You might have even already taken then to a tutoring center and they hated it. Maybe they felt embarrassed that someone they knew might see them. Maybe they were just turned off by having to do worksheet after worksheet. And even though it was supposed to solve the problem, the tutoring center wasn’t able to help your kid either.

And you’re starting to feel extremely guilty, because even though you’re trying everything you can humanly think of, your superhuman efforts are not creating results. Your kid isn’t really understanding, they’re not really learning, and they’re not getting good grades. Sometimes you feel like a failure as a parent.

In a few years, your kid will be in college, out of the house forever, and right now, your precious time together as a family is being completely consumed by struggling with math.

You feel completely stuck.

Does this sound familiar? Is this what you’re facing?

Please know that you are not alone. Nothing is wrong with you. There is just something missing. You aren’t getting the support you need to truly understand, and neither is your kid, but that doesn’t mean that either of you is mathematically incapable. There’s just a gap between what you need and the resources that you have in front of you.

Please know that what you’re facing is not insurmountable. Just because you have been struggling for months or years does not mean that you have to struggle forever.

For example, I personally spent years struggling in silence with math and thinking that I was “not a math person.”

Now I’m on the other side, and I have helped many other families go from being completely consumed about math to feeling happy, relaxed, and confident about math – even in really extreme situations where a kid was so anxious about math they refused to do their homework unless they were sitting next to their mom, or, another example, where a previous tutor had told the family that math was like a foreign language and their daughter only spoke five words.

Please know that you don’t have to stay stuck. It is completely possible to find support that results in lasting math transformation – even if you feel like you’ve already tried everything and nothing has worked.

Please know that you don’t have to keep doing what you’re doing. If it’s not working, doing MORE of what’s not working is not going to create the transformation that you desire.

Please know that you don’t have to do this by yourself. You do not have to reteach yourself all of the math you ever learned. You do not need to be the one trying to ensure that your kid understands. You do not need keep spending hours on Khan Academy every night trying to figure out what they heck your kid is supposed to do. You do not need to continue to feel this dread about your kid’s next math grade.

If you’re ready to invest in world-class, one-on-one math mastery support for your passionate, creative kid, just click here to get started with your special application for my one-on-one math tutoring programs.

Once your application is received, we’ll set up a special phone call to explore whether or not the magical way I work would be a good fit for you and your family! I can’t wait to connect and create this same lasting transformation for YOU!

Related posts:
How to know when it’s time to stop tutoring your own kid
Case study: an 8th grader goes from “math meltdown” to “math touchdown!”
What to do when you get a disappointing math test grade

What are the biggest mistakes when it comes to doing summer math?
 

MISTAKE 1.  YOU HAVE NO PLAN.

If you don’t make a plan,
it’s very likely that you will get to the end of the summer
and realize that you didn’t do any math at all.  
 

And most kids forget 25-40% of their math over the summer,
unless they practice,
and after what we’ve been through for the past 15 months,
no one wants to lose that much!!!!!

MISTAKE 2.  YOU’RE JUST COPYING SOMEONE ELSE’S PLAN.

A lot of families will look around and see,

my neighbor’s kid is doing a math workbook…

or, my kid’s best friend is going to math camp…

or, my niece is doing a math app…

or, everyone in my neighborhood goes to Kumon…

So I guess I should do [insert thing other people are doing].

But if those solutions don’t work for YOU, then they’re not a good plan. 

Even if they’re a good plan for someone else.  

MISTAKE 3.  YOU KEEP DOING WHAT ISN’T WORKING.

If there is ANYTHING we have learned from the pandemic, I think it is, stop doing what’s not working!

This is probably the biggest mistake and the most common mistake of all.  

There are LOTS of ways to learn math! 

If one way doesn’t work for you, that doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. 

It just means that you need something different.
 

So if something’s not working, you have options!  

You just need to ADJUST based on what you need.

You don’t have to keep suffering, repeating what doesn’t work!

And once you stop doing what’s not working,
it opens space and time for what DOES work instead.

To be continued….

Sending you love,
REBECCA,
the professional math unicorn

The other day, a rising 4th grader who came to our first math tea party wanted to know, “When is the next one?” 

Well, good news! Our next math tea party is next week!

And you’re invited!

Do you feel overwhelmed by suddenly having to teach your kid math?

Wondering how you’ll make it through another school year full of unknowns? 

Filled with dread trying to explain math homework? 

Would you rather eat razor blades than face another year of trying to do this alone?

Do you wish you could actually make math…magical? 

Then come join us this coming Tues 9/1 and Wed 9/2 at 4 pm eastern,
as I join forces with beloved tea party legend, Mrs. B of Tea With Mrs B, 
for this fun virtual event.

We will unveil the secrets of making math magical that I’ve discovered over my career as a Professional Math Unicorn, helping creative, passionate, unique kids achieve true math mastery.

You will learn simple, effective, fun tools that can be used on any problem and at any grade level.

Then we will practice applying these tools together, 
choosing from problems you bring to class, 
with participants taking turns in the spotlight getting help directly from me.

Wear your favorite tea party hat, and bring your favorite tea!

This event is designed for:
– parents, 
– or parents and kids *together*,
– but is NOT for kids to attend solo.   
(This is NOT a “drop-off” event.)

NOTE: This time we’re splitting it into two age groups: 

Tuesday, September 1st 

Time: 4-5pm eastern

Grades: 1 & 2

Cost: FREE

Location: virtual, on Zoom (link will be sent 24 hours prior to event)

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER yourself & your 1st-2nd grader

—-
Wednesday, September 2nd

Time: 4-5pm eastern

Grades: 3 & up

Cost: FREE

Location: virtual, on Zoom (link will be sent 24 hours prior to event)

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER yourself & your 3rd-12th grader

I can’t wait to see you there!!

Sending you love,

REBECCA

PS. And please share with anyone who you sense could use this support! I’ve been making math magical online since 2009 and I know how to do it in a way that is effective, fun, and energizing. So come and join us!

Related posts:

Math tutoring is not cancelled

An 8th grader goes from “math meltdown” to “math touchdown”

What to do when your kid’s math fills you with dread

Three simple steps to actually tell if your kid understands what’s going on with math

Is your kid a creative, passionate, unique, visionary of the future?

Hey beautiful readers!

I’m so excited…. I was interviewed about the process of making math magical for an article for the Rye Record newspaper by the fabulous Maureen Mancini Amaturo!

Read on for the full article 🙂

Math + Rebecca Zook = Magic

By Maureen Mancini Amaturo

Rebecca Zook, musician and fairy godmother of math who works with kids all over the world, will be at The Rye Free Reading Room November 9, 2017 from 6:30-8:00 p.m. She’ll present, “Making Math Magical: How to End the Math Freakout and Raise a Math-Confident Daughter,” a program that is just as effective for boys. Her mission: to conquer math anxiety. Because of her unusual way of guiding all those who say, “I’m not a math person,” there are a lot more people out there adding to their potential.

“I work with girls and boys, but the majority of my students are girls. There is lots of research on girls and math. From my own experience, I find that the reason is not that our intellect is an obstacle. It’s emotion. There is a larger shift in our culture now of women coming more and more into positions of leadership and in fields not traditionally slated for them. There is greater awareness of where women are underrepresented and a lot of positive energy going into changing that.”

Rebecca is a musician, really, with a self-designed interdisciplinary degree in Music and the Humanities, and she performs around the globe. “I find that because I am a creative, artistic person, I understand what creative, artistic people need to feel comfortable with math. This helps me connect with kids having a hard time.”

When Rebecca heads out to tutor math-phobics, she arrives with her cello. Memories of struggling with math as a young girl motivated her to find a way to help others avoid that stress and discover the skills they they don’t have. “A big part of my work is hearing, ‘I wish I worked with you when I was growing up.’ I say I wish I had worked with myself!”

Her students have shown incredible growth. “Many think once you have a hard time with math it’s game over. You work hard, and it’s not clicking. You think something is wrong with you. Over time, you disengage and give up. I am amazed at how much transformation is possible.” Rebecca has perfected a process to subtract the anxiety and add confidence. “I work with students to eliminate the negative emotion — the nervous feeling, anxiety, fear­, and help them slow down.”

So, what’s the key to unlocking math phobia? “There are three fundamental pieces,” she says. “One: have a growth mindset about math which means to understand that math ability is something you can cultivate and grow with comfort, and it’s not something you either have or not. It’s such a toxic mindset to think that you’re either a math-science person or humanities-language person. I’m living proof you can be both.

“Two: Stay in the sweet spot where it’s not so hard you are overwhelmed and not so low you get bored. Break it down into pieces that are small enough for you to handle.

“Three: Take a mastery orientation approach with math. We have an understanding in our culture with athletics and art that you practice, and it’s enjoyable. With math, we think if we just do what we are told, that’s enough. Mostly, the curriculum doesn’t identify that, and kids give up and opt out. Practicing math in a way that is pleasurable and customized is crucial.”

Rebecca is the magician that dispels the fallacy that if you are working with a tutor, you’re bad at math. “If you want to bring your dreams and vision to the world, you have to support that desire. All winners have coaches, trainers, guides, mentors, and teachers. Support is not about dependency. It’s about facing new challenges and growing.”

Hear more about Rebecca’s unorthodox approach to developing a successful relationship with math at the Rye Free Reading Room, visit makingmathmagical.com or contact her directly at rebeccazook@gmail.com or 617-888-0160.

Is your creative kid freaking out about math? Do you want them to truly master math and love it so their dreams can come true without experiencing math as an obstacle?

I’d love to connect and explore if my work would be a fit for your child!

Just click here to take the first step: click here

4. Math-masterful parents are focused on the long-term process of mastery.

Typical parents focus on just getting math over with.

Math is so stressful that they just want to help their kids complete their homework assignments as quickly as possible.

But this never gets below the surface to the actual root problems that are causing the math anxiety and stress.

In contrast, math-masterful parents focus on whether their child is deeply understanding and internalizing the material, not just getting their homework done.

As part of this, math-masterful parents are proactive, not reactive.

Instead of being in crisis mode, waiting to see if they have math issues, scheduling support only around tests, or reacting to the artificial rhythms of the school year, these parents put support in place consistently and let their child’s mastery needs set the pace.

Like athletes or performing artists, math-masterful families train consistently.

They still take breaks and vacations, but use holidays and summer breaks as a powerful secret compartment to catch up, get ahead, and stay connected to math—to enjoy math on their own terms.

This consistent training develops their own inner math sanctuary that supports them, once they’re back from vacation, no matter what is going on in their classroom or curriculum.

And because they invest this time and energy in consistent math mastery training, they end up having a much more relaxed and happy school year, because their child is actually confident and prepared.

As a quick example of this, one family came to me towards the end of 5th grade after years of struggling with math and not getting what they needed from typical tutoring.

We worked together throughout the summer between 5th and 6th grade—still taking some breaks, but making sure that this student was really connecting to math and loving it.

Her first day back of 6th grade, this student was the only kid in the room who knew what the commutative property was, and nailed question after question after question until her teacher just started laughing!

More recently, a student and I used her spring break as an opportunity to get ahead and really understand logarithms.

Just a few days ago she told me that she was the only student in her class who actually understood them.

And her mom now experiences her daughter’s school vacations as much more relaxing, because there’s no more math dread.

Do you wish your child could go through this same transformation?

I would love to talk to you.

Just fill out this application here.

As soon as your application is received and reviewed, I’ll reach out to schedule a special appointment for us to connect on the phone and get clear on how I could best support your family.

I can’t wait to connect!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

Related posts:
What Parents Of Math-Confident Children Secretly Do (That Typical Parents Don’t) – #1
What Parents Of Math-Confident Children Secretly Do (That Typical Parents Don’t) – #2
What Parents Of Math-Confident Children Secretly Do (That Typical Parents Don’t) – #3

There’s a very specific set of PARENT beliefs and behaviors that allows a child to actually go through this life-changing transformation from math freakout to math mastery.

But most parents don’t know about these beliefs and behaviors – and don’t fully understand what a child in math crisis actually needs to become math-confident.

So I am on a mission to educate parents about this!

In my first article in this series, I shared how math-masterful parents see high-level support as normal and desirable, both for their child and for themselves. (Full article here.)

Second, parents of Math Masters are no longer willing to suffer or wait. (Read the full post here.)

And third…

3. Math-masterful parents recognize when it’s time to bring in outside support.

Typical parents do not recognize when their help is no longer moving their child forward.

They tend to deny it, or overcompensate for it.

They tell themselves things like, “Well, even though my daughter’s telling me she never understands my explanations, I’ll just get better at explaining it to her somehow.”

Other typical parents will just continue to acquire more and more information, believing that if they just get the right workbook or alternate curriculum, somehow it will mean they’re suddenly able to connect with their kid.

They tell themselves that, even though they’re completely exhausted,
“I just need to find more energy” (out of nowhere)
or “I just need to be more positive” (even though they’re completely discouraged).

In contrast, math-masterful parents recognize when it’s time to bring in outside support.

For example, a parent came to me because she was locked in a toxic math dynamic with her daughter.

Her daughter refused to do her math homework unless she was sitting next to her mom, but was so anxious that she would trigger her mom’s frustration, and then, massive guilt.

Even though they were working super hard, the daughter’s math grades continued to slide, and she wasn’t truly mastering the material.

This mom recognized that she was not the one to help her daughter, and chose to bring me in to break the pattern.

Now her daughter happily does her math homework independently, and her mom can literally relax and read a book in another room.

Their toxic mother-daughter math dynamic has been totally healed.

Would you like to experience this same transformation, from math freakout to math mastery and confidence?

I would love to connect with you and explore how I could best support your child to truly love math and experience it as master-able and magical.

Just fill out this application here.

Once your application is received, I’ll reach out to schedule a special time for us to talk on the phone and get clear on if my work would make sense for your family.

I can’t wait to connect!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

Related posts:
How to know when it’s time to stop tutoring your own kid
What to do when your kid’s math fills you with dread
Do you wish your kid could feel like Albert Einstein?

I’ve come to understand that many parents tend to misunderstand what is actually needed for a child in math crisis to become math-confident.

Did you know that parents of math-confident children have a very specific set of beliefs and behaviors that set them apart?

I’m on a mission to educate parents about this.

First (as I shared in my last article about this), math-masterful parents see high-level support as normal and desirable, both for their child and for themselves. (Full details here.)

Second, parents of Math Masters are no longer willing to suffer or wait.

Typical parents tend to respond to a child’s persistent math struggles by waiting and hoping that their math issues will just magically go away by themselves.

They will tell themselves things like, “Let’s just wait and see what happens,”
“Let’s see how my child does between now and the end of the year,”
or “It will start clicking for my child eventually.”

But almost always, what happens is, in the best case scenario, the child barely manages to keep their head above water.

Or, worst case scenario, the child’s math understanding spirals downward…and the situation just keeps getting worse.

In contrast, math-masterful parents face reality and take control.

They understand on a deep level that if they continue to do the same things that aren’t working, they’ll just continue to get the same results.

Their child will struggle and suffer, and so will the parent.

So math-masterful parents choose to take a different action to create a different result.

When faced with an opportunity to receive support that will actually help their kid, they say yes and move forward.

As a quick example, one family was referred to me by a colleague at the child’s school. The student was tired of struggling and went to the math department head with her mom to ask for a referral to a math tutor.

This department head knew that the student loves to sing and dance, so she told her and her mom, “You should call Rebecca, because she sings about math.”

When the daughter told her mom, “Let’s call Rebecca right away,” they ACTUALLY called.

And we started working together almost immediately.

After our very first session, the mom emailed me that a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

And the mom’s relief only increased as her daughter continued to receive this aligned support and get consistently great grades.

Did I just describe *your* mindset? Do you see high-level math mentoring support as normal and desirable? Are you no longer willing to wait while your child continues to suffer from math challenges?

I would love to connect and explore how I could best support your family.

To take the first step, just fill out this application here:

Once your application is received, I’ll reach out to schedule a special appointment time for us to connect and get clear on what’s not working, what you want instead, and whether my work would be a fit.

I’m totally excited to hear from you!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

Related Posts:
What parents of math-confident children secretly do (that typical parents don’t) – #1
The secret ingredients of true math mastery
When doing your math homework just isn’t cutting it

I recently had an epiphany.

I’ve come to understand that in my case studies and articles, I’ve been focused primarily on student behavior and student results.

Yet each of these transformations was only possible because of their parent’s behavior and beliefs.

Just like a Wimbleton champion works out differently than a typical person, or a billionaire invests differently than a typical investor, parents who set their kids up to be math masters (whether or not they’re involved in their child’s day-to-day learning) have a very specific set of beliefs and behaviors that set them apart.

Let’s look at exactly how you can choose to adapt these beliefs and behaviors to create this transformation into math mastery for your child.

1. Math-masterful parents see high-level support as normal and desirable, both for their child and for themselves.

A “typical parent” mindset is usually something like,

“If my child has a math tutor, it means that they are in some way ‘less than’ or ‘not smart,’ because smart kids don’t need help.”

And then they focus on getting away with as little support as possible, or ‘weaning’ their child off of the support they have in place, because they’re concerned their child will be dependent.

This is a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to truly be a master.

Masters receive the highest-level support available.

And they do so consistently.

You wouldn’t quit singing lessons after winning the lead in a musical.

You wouldn’t fire your personal trainer after qualifying for the Olympics.

You wouldn’t get elected President of the United States and then not have a cabinet.

Just like that, math-masterful parents understand that having high-level math support is normal AND desirable, and they set their kids up with the highest support available.

As a quick example, one mom came to me because her daughter was joyful about everything in her life except math, which made her miserable and anxious. And then the mom was also miserable and anxious.

Her approach was to set her daughter up with math support just like singing lessons and dance classes—as just another important piece in the big picture of her daughter’s life.

Now her daughter is happy and confident about math, and the mom is relaxed because her daughter is relaxed.

Did I just describe *your* mindset?

Do you see high-level math mentoring support as normal and desirable?

Are you no longer willing to wait while your child continues to suffer from math challenges?

I would love to connect and explore how I could best support your family.

To take the first step, just fill out this application here.

Once your application is received, I’ll reach out to schedule a special appointment time for us to connect and get clear on what’s not working, what you want instead, and whether my work would be a fit.

I’m totally excited to hear from you!

Sending you love,
REBECCA

PS. More secrets of math-masterful parents will be posted here – this is just #1 of 6!

Related posts:
Does having a math tutor make you a “loser”?
What to do when your kid’s math terrifies you
How to know when it’s time to stop tutoring your own kid

Have you ever been helping your kid with math, and just really wanted to know whether or not they were getting it? Or maybe you got the feeling that your kid might be confused about something, but you couldn’t put a finger on what it was yourself. Well, let me share with you my special time-tested technique for dealing with this exact situation!

First, ask the question, “What questions do you have?” instead of “Do you have any questions?”

There are several reasons for this:

When we are asked “do you have any questions?” most of us have been socially conditioned to say “no,” without really thinking about whether or not we do need something cleared up. So asking “DO you have any questions” is not super effective.

“WHAT questions do you have,” because it assumes that you have questions, encourages people to actually try to come up with something they have questions about, instead of just glibly saying “no.” It also makes it normal to have questions, and treats the need for clarification as just a natural, built-in part of the learning process.

Second, wait up to seven seconds for your kid to respond. Why? Research has found that it usually takes seven seconds to formulate a question when you’re asked if you have one. This can feel really uncomfortable the first few times, since we’re not used to waiting like this. But it is absolutely worth it.

Third, only ask “What questions do you have?” if you genuinely want to know and you have time to address the questions that your kid may have. If you don’t actually mean it, A, over time, the question will lose its power, and B, your kid will feel that they don’t actually have a chance to ask their questions and it just becomes a fake formality.

(I’ve had to be careful with this myself – for example, to not ask for questions when I only have 30 seconds left before I need to talk to my next student! If you’re in that kind of situation, just trust that you will be able to take care of the questions your kid has at a later moment when you can give it your full attention.)

Do you dream of your daughter or son receiving high-level, individualized one-on-one support that’s customized completely in every nanosecond? Do you prioritize investing in your child’s education above all else? Do you just want a caring professional to take over your family’s “math situation” so you can just focus on being a mom or dad, and not have to do the tutoring yourself?

Just click here to get started with your special application for my one-on-one math tutoring programs. Once your application is received, we’ll set up a special phone call to get clear if my approach would be a good fit for your child.

I’m here for you, and I’m so glad we’re connected!

Sending you love,
REBECCA